Hell Sucks

Hell sucks. Or at least that is what we have been taught from a young age. Multiple facets of our society scare the general population into submission by monopolizing on "what happens next?"
But that is the question, what happens next?

To forgo the game of having you guess my religious affiliation, I am Catholic. That is, I was baptized Catholic at a young age.  My personal opinion differs from the Church a great deal. I am agnostic. No, that is not a cream for canker sores. I believe in a higher power, however I believe to try and understand that power is pointless.
I have always wanted to have good thoughts about the after life. Seeing all those that were lost to me, unlimited happiness, eternal glory; however, to be honest, what I am afraid of most is that there is nothing. I am afraid that this is it. There is nothing more. The life we live on Earth is all we get.
This scares me because for every regret I have, every mistake I make, every moment I spend unhappy is time wasted. It is like I am on a ticking clock.
Now let us say there is a Hell and a Heaven. My version of Heaven is probably similar to yours. However, my Hell may be a bit different. To me, Hell is a type of Purgatory. I often laugh when physical punishments are used in Hell, as the physical can only do so much. Hell for me is always being on the verge, but never getting something. Surrounded by unlimited knowledge, but never being able to open a book. Watching the woman you love fall for another man. Having words to say but not being able to speak. For me, having these dangling in front of me, but never being able to grab them would be the most cruel kind of Hell.
Let us say now that there is not a Hell and a Heaven. Then what?
I have grappled with this question before, many times, and like many of those who have done the same, I cannot come to a definitive answer. Is it some type of reincarnation? Are we born to a greater life if we "did well" in the previous? That seems a little far fetched. Well, where does the soul go? Into the cosmos? If we are all made of atoms, it would make sense that when our specific make up is destroyed, we would be come a part of everything else. We would become a part of everything.
I think I will leave it there.